My Dreams Were Telling Me Something

For years I continued to have this same dream, over and over. I was in a house I didn't recognize but it was always the SAME house. Now this wasn't just a normal house either, everything was rounded. I remember attempting to draw how the central core was rounded and all of the bedrooms went around the back of this round core. None of the bedrooms were closed, bed"cave" would be a more accurate description. There was a LOT of natural light coming through the ceiling and plants were growing on the inside, and it was on a mountain. For a time awhile back, I would dream about being in this house at least 3/4 nights per week. I was supposed to be in this house, this house made me feel happy, this house was meant to be mine. I was happy in this house. In the future, somehow, I would be in this house and it would make me very happy. The last dream I had I saw I was entertaining people in this house and everybody was happy.

So its taken probably a year to sort out this dream and figure out what/ where this house is. You can imagine my delight when I DID discover just what sort of house this house is, it's an "Earthship" house!
http://www.ultimatesolarhomes.com/
Earthship houses are made entirely from tires which naturally gives them their rounded appearance, and round rooms. Earthships also grow many fruits and vegetables IN the house from reused water from the sink and tub (why I would always "see" numerous foliage in my dream round house).

Anybody who knows me knows that I've always got numerous seedlings in various stages of growth, no matter WHERE I live. I have always had a yearning to grow plants for food INSIDE my house, ever since I was a kid. I am an avid gardener, love art, love to work with my hands, and love to recycle and respect the environment. In fact, nothing makes me happier than to feel "at one" or very close to nature and in my dream, in my mystery house, I DID feel very close to nature. I loved watching a storm roll in and move across the valley as I watched in total safety from my mountain top in my "round house."

I'm SO excited to have finally figured out what those dreams were pointing me to. Now, the next challenge is to figure out how to make it happen. I would love nothing more than for my family to all be together working on building our new, literal dream home.

Just Us Girls

It was funny to read my last post which was written in the very hotel I'm in now... again. Only difference this time is that I'm GRATEFUL to be here in this tiny little room with my daughter. We're totally safe, nobody is going to hurt her, or me, or us. There's nobody's unpredictable mood to contend with, and for the first time I'm hopeful and happy. I realize now life before I left was something I had to "endure." Now it can be entirely of my own choosing, MY life, what I want, what's best for ME and Abigail.

The big gap in blogs is my time spent in Dubai which was, bittersweet. Don't know if I'm ready to write about that time because right now I'm not interested in looking back but looking forward. While its scary to think I'll be attending graduate school working at the doctorate level while simultaneously raising a small child on my own I think I can do it. What else am I going to do? This is my second shot anyhow and if I have to I'll take a third, fourth, or fifth shot too! I was accused of being someone who doesn't finish what I start. Never again will anybody be able to make that accusation towards me. While I'm scared I'm also excited and feel enthusiastic about my future for the first time because I can now make my future whatever "I" want to make it and when I'm done, I'll never have to rely on another man EVER AGAIN.

I'm looking forward to building a stable, consistent, loving, peaceful life for my daughter and she seems happier already.

.... and I was wrong in my previous post. I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever about this. My only regret is not leaving sooner.