It was funny to read my last post which was written in the very hotel I'm in now... again. Only difference this time is that I'm GRATEFUL to be here in this tiny little room with my daughter. We're totally safe, nobody is going to hurt her, or me, or us. There's nobody's unpredictable mood to contend with, and for the first time I'm hopeful and happy. I realize now life before I left was something I had to "endure." Now it can be entirely of my own choosing, MY life, what I want, what's best for ME and Abigail.
The big gap in blogs is my time spent in Dubai which was, bittersweet. Don't know if I'm ready to write about that time because right now I'm not interested in looking back but looking forward. While its scary to think I'll be attending graduate school working at the doctorate level while simultaneously raising a small child on my own I think I can do it. What else am I going to do? This is my second shot anyhow and if I have to I'll take a third, fourth, or fifth shot too! I was accused of being someone who doesn't finish what I start. Never again will anybody be able to make that accusation towards me. While I'm scared I'm also excited and feel enthusiastic about my future for the first time because I can now make my future whatever "I" want to make it and when I'm done, I'll never have to rely on another man EVER AGAIN.
I'm looking forward to building a stable, consistent, loving, peaceful life for my daughter and she seems happier already.
.... and I was wrong in my previous post. I have absolutely no guilt whatsoever about this. My only regret is not leaving sooner.
Monday, February 14, 2011
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