Too tired to decide, too tired not to

With our future move approaching faster and faster my few nights of lost sleep have turned into most nights of lost sleep. I realized today I've not lived in my own comfort zone for years now and its really taking its toll. I've been perpetually sick with one infection after another, I'm always exhausted but never get rest, and sometimes I feel like a nervous wreck unable to handle one more challenge without exploding!

While I'm too exhausted to face another huge life-changing challenge like moving to a foreign country, I'm also too exhausted to remain as a single parent 24/7 either. Change was sooo much easier before having a baby. Now, any slightest alteration to the schedule really upsets the whole balance for both me and Abs. I just really don't think I have it in me to do another move to another unfamiliar place. I'm just now starting to learn my way around KY knowing where to get a good haircut, good local produce, and good clothes shopping. I feel like I barely get through the routine we have, let alone abandoning it only to start all over again. This time I'm afraid the "get up and go has got up and went." Oh how I hope this doesn't ruin my marriage.